Article: Emotional Intelligence

Most of us have enjoyed the thrill of making positive changes only to eventually slip back into our old habits. Have you ever seriously considered what happened? To give your next attempt a boost and yourself a much better chance to finally “break orbit” follow these 7 tips. If you’ve already tried several times, it’s likely you are far closer to permanently changing than you think.

Here are 7 “tools for your next attempt:”

1. The latest research is clear; a written decision date is key in making any new resolution stick. For example, are you a smoker who wants to quit? Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can just stop smoking without a real stop date. The American Cancer Society is so sold on this idea that they even recommend delaying your stop date to give yourself three weeks to mentally and logistically prepare for your big quit day. Big changes require big commitments. Formalize your change, set a date, announce it to the media, display it prominently and you’ll double your chances of enjoying permanent change.

2. Support is most needed after the enthusiasm of your new change begins to wear off. You’ll likely need a lot more accountability 90 days after you start exercising than you do the first month or two. So prepare for it now. Don’t be fooled by “how easy it all seems.” Most people can lose weight for a few months; the truly successful ones keep it off over a lifetime.

3. Write down your goals, even if you have them memorized by heart. If you do so, according to a University of Scranton study, you will increase your changes of making your change last over two years from 4% with no written goals, to 19% with written goals. 19% may seem like slim chances—permanent change is hard work-- but it is five time greater odds than just vowing to change without of a set of specific written goals. Why automatically handicap yourself into 1-in- 25 odds when a 1-in-5 chance with written goals is much, much better.

4. Don’t be discouraged if you have to try several times to achieve permanent change. Did you know the average alcoholic and drug addict who succeeds in staying sober permanently needs 3-5 treatment programs? (So don’t give up on Robert Downey Jr.) Losing weight is no different; it’s a difficult habit to break that some would even call an addiction. Don’t give up when you slip back into old patterns, just ask yourself what you did right and what you needed to do better, make adjustments, write down your plan, set a start date and try again.

5. Break up your goals into very small steps. John Wooden said: “Don’t let what you can’t do keep you from doing what you can!” That’s excellent advice, especially when you goal is daunting already. Don’t tell yourself you need to clean that entire garage out this summer. Instead tell yourself: “All I need to do this Saturday is to sort through four boxes, that will only take 30 minutes, and then I can go shopping like I planned.”

6. Congratulate yourself for the time you spend on your goal rather than on your progress during that time. I wrote my entire 300-page-plus dissertation in 1-hour chunks after getting home from the hospital, watching a bit of TV and having dinner. The computer was turned on at 7 p.m. and turned off at 8 p.m. no matter what I had written. Some nights I wrote a lot, some nights I wrote “slop.” Still, at 8 p.m. it was time to relax or go out for the rest of the evening. Amazingly, at the end of 9 months, the dissertation was done. What big goal could you better tackle in this way?

7. Having trouble getting started? Recent research suggests procrastination has a lot to do with how you look at the task ahead. Procrastinators, it has been shown, think about how it will feel to work out. Those who don’t procrastinate think about how good it will feel having exercised.

If your goal is important or you’ve tried numerous times before without success consider a D&A coaching session or two to jump-start on your way to permanent change. We help you achieve your goal by clarifying your goal, committing you to your change date, identify your incremental steps, generating strategies to address likely obstacles and assisting you in finding the support to stay motivated.

For more information about our coaching sessions click here to contact us.